Pokémon Hall of Shame

With Pokémon X and Y versions announced and due for a global October 2013 release let’s take a look at some of the previously released pocket monsters. As it stands there are 649 incarnations of the creatures and whilst some of them are memorable legends like Pikachu it’s certainly fair to say that GameFreak weren’t feeling too well when they designed these 12 atrocities.

1. Chandelure

This Pokémon is a clear example of what we’re getting at here. A pocket monster designed to look like a chandelier? Not only is making articles of furniture a playable creature simply ridiculous but it’s also not a particularly strong Pokémon stats-wise, talk about rubbing salt in the wounds. You can almost taste the desperation in the design of this Pokémon, a nice start to this Hall of Shame.

2. Psyduck

Only a small amount of the original 151 Pokémon have made it onto this list however here’s Psyduck. Not only is this Pokémon infuriatingly stupid in the animated TV series but also it’s also incredibly bland design in the games. Whoever thought including a manically depressed duck into a child’s game needs to have their head checked more than Psyduck!

3. Volbeat

When designing Pokémon based on insects GameFreak normally get it
right. Beedrill, for example, is awesome. Where were they coming from with Volbeat? Like an unholy merging of Cruella De Ville (from 101 Dalmatians) and a bumblebee, Volbeat doesn’t seem to appeal to anyone; its pathetic ‘cry’ doesn’t help the embarrassment either.

4. Luvdisc

Speaking of embarrassment, could you imagine if they made a Pokémon
look like a cartoon love heart? Oh wait, there’s Luvdisc. Sticking googly eyes on anything and everything is not the best way to go about creating innovative and original creatures and Luvdisc is testament to that. Whilst many Pokémon spark the imagination the thought of a bright pink heart floating in the sea sparks nothing but a deep, sorrowful sigh.

6. Stunfisk

Many players don’t even remember encountering this pocket monster and who would blame them? Stunfisk is simply a deflated and rather confused looking flounder. Ironically it could be said that the design team were ‘floundering’ when it came to designing Stunfisk, either that or someone pressed the wrong button in Photoshop and forgot to correct it.

7. Dunsparce

Sticking with the aquatic Pokémon still brings us to Dunsparce. What’s typically known as ‘filler’ Pokémon, Dunsparce is a personality-less and odd-looking slug with tiny and unnecessary wings. Normally when we’re faced with an utterly poor Pokémon there’s the silver lining that it evolves into something epic (take Magikarp for example) however in this case what you see really is all you get. It possesses no real redeeming features other than filling a slot in the Pokédex and being a HM drone.

8. Probopass

What happens when you give a pile of rocks an epic mustache? Probopass happens. This Pokémon is just incredibly weird and doesn’t really seem to know itself what it’s supposed to be. One of the best explanations so far has to be that it’s actually a large compass, the small Nosepasses around it represent South, East and West whilst the giant red nose represents North. Thin but plausible, either that or GameFreak were taking something pretty strong.

9. Jynx

Jynx is what happens when Pokémon go out in drag. Looking like it belongs more in the Red Light District than a child’s videogame Jynx is actually incredibly creepy. Whilst in possession of a combination of powerful Psychic and Ice moves the extended ‘cry’ and almost offensive exterior just makes Jynx an experience that’ll make you cringe.

10. Vanillite

Now they’ve tarnished even food with the googly eye plague. Vanillite is simply an ice cream cone, not exactly something you’d be taking to face The Elite Four. The surpising thing about this creature of frozen cream is that it actually has two other evolutions. One is just a larger ‘adult’ size scoop and the third evolution is a two-scoop ice cream. You can’t argue the originality of the idea but you also can’t argue the lunacy behind it.

11. Garbodor

Obviously if there’s food then there’s also going to be trash. This Pokémon is literally trash, an ugly pile of trash. Even though it’s pre-evolution form Trubbish is actually quite cute Garbodor is a prime example of an idea taken too far. A logical step after inventing food style Pokémon that should never have passed quality control.

12. Zubat

This Pokémon has only made the list for one simple reason. It is the bane of each and every Trainer’s life. For every 1 interesting Pokémon you find you’ll encounter 10 Zubats and that’s probably just a light estimate. Although it’s higher evolutions Golbat and Crobat are a lot more impressive and far less frequent that still doesn’t redeem that fact that Zubat is quite possibly the most annoying part of many 90’s children’s lives.

What Pokémon do you hate? Any of the list or do you have your own personal vendettas with a few of GameFreak’s pocket monsters? Let us know in the comment section below!