Call of Juarez: The Cartel (Video Game Review)

You know that theory “If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it”? Well, apparently Techland wasn’t considering this when it was making Call of Juarez: The Cartel, a modern-day follow-up to the previous two Western first-person shooters it released through Ubisoft. Someone probably thought up the notion that changing things up would enliven interest in the series, while also making it differ enough so that folks wouldn’t call it another Red Dead Redemption wannabe. But believe us when we say that we would never make that classification, as Red Dead was a magnificent game, and the Cartel merely shoots blanks. So much goes wrong with this game that it borderlines on parody. Let’s start with the characters, first of all. You’ve got three to choose from in the main story mode, and two of them are practically worthless. Eddie Guerra is a DEA officer with the worst kind of hat selection and a lazy shooting hand, and FBI agent Kim Evans doesn’t do much good either. Only cowboy Ben McCall, a descendant to heroes from the previous games and a gruff and tough old man, manages to stand out. Not only does he look out for his partners, but he also works for others on the inside, including agents who want him to keep an eye on his new partners and occasional buddies in need of favors, including a hooker that Ben is somewhat loyal to.

This introduces a tactic with morality. Over the course of the game, you’ve got the option to pick up special items to help your friends out, though they’re often not pivotal to the case – or even legal, in some cases. The trick is, you need to pick them up while your partners aren’t looking to get the most out of them. Now, had these been implemented well, this could’ve introduced a fairly interesting mechanic to keep you involved in the game. However, the choices are not often addressed enough in the story, as most of the missions play out the same. It’s like you’re taking a risk, but all for naught. It’s kind of a shame that Techland didn’t try to add anything appealing to the other two characters as much as Ben. They’re lame asses for the most part, tough talking partners who can’t even efficiently back you up in a gunfight. What’s worse, they won’t shut up. Sure, it’s helpful when they direct you towards enemies and tell you when to run for cover, but other times they’re needlessly hostile. How many times must we hear “Shoot damn it!” or “If we weren’t here, you’d be mother fucking dead!” in a single level. What’s worse, they fail to really do anything, thanks to some lamely programmed AI. Gotta hate partners that talk a big game without truly backing it up. We sure do. Lame AI aside, The Cartel isn’t a terrible playing game. Shooting and aiming works moderately well, and you can use cover efficiently enough to avoid getting killed – save for the sudden sniper and rocket attacks that even your idiotic partners can’t see coming.

The driving controls aren’t bad, though it’s frustrating when you hit an object and have to back up – in the middle of battle – to get out of its way, rather than plowing through it. We’re guessing you’re driving the weakest vehicle in the county. At times, Ben (we’ll pick him because the other two, again, suck) has the ability to slow down time and use sharpshooting to his advantage. It’s not bad, though he says the same crap over and over again when you activate it. “I bring not peace, but a fucking sword” and something about a horse named Death. Yep, that’s the way it goes EVERY TIME. You’ll get to the point whether you question really wanting to use it or not. So yes, the voice acting is very suspect –and often repeated too much for its own good. The music is okay, but doesn’t nearly add as much dramatic scope to the game as you’d expect. Sound effects are all right, but often drowned out by the chatter from your partners. Ugh. But one thing we can’t get past are the graphics. Sure, some of the level structure isn’t bad (particularly exploding tanks that change the state of the stage itself), but the game is jam-packed with glitches and ridiculous collision detection problems.

We actually found ourselves running through enemies – at point blank range. And then they shoot us from behind. Thanks, guys. The animation is average at best (only Ben looks like a worthwhile character, even compared to criminals) and the misspellings are ridiculous. It’s almost as if Techland rushed this through testing merely to get back on Dead Island development…which would make sense if they had an idea how bad this game was getting. You can play through the story mode with two other players, making the “should I steal items or not” factor a bit more interesting. You score XP points if you get away, but they get the points if they see you snagging it. There’s also a multiplayer mode where you can pit cops against criminals, but it fails to really scratch the surface on this potential. You shoot at each other, repeat and…you get the idea. Talk about a misfire. Call of Juarez: The Cartel not only gets the concept wrong, but also gets really sloppy in the presentation department. Despite the inclusion of minor moral judgments and a bad-ass cowboy character, it does too many things wrong too often, leading to an experience that never sums up to anything outside of a two-night rental – at best. We recommend checking out the previous Call of Juarez games instead, or, better yet, Red Dead Redemption. That’ll make you feel like a cowboy without the need to shoot yourself – or your horse.

Game Information:
Developer: Ubisoft
Publisher: Ubisoft
Platform: Reviewed for Xbox 360
Release Date: July 19, 2011

Score: 4 out of 10